it's been a while.

had a fa cohesion day earlier at sentosa. the section games were fun. though it may look weird from a spectator's perspective - a big bunch of guys indulging in a series of mini games. after which was a movie at vivo - hancock. wasn't really nice i guess. neither the plot nor the graphics' amazing. nevertheless was a day well-spent.

gonna be a busy week - duty, packed schedules, troubles here & there etc. gotta brace myself for the challenges ahead..

being the pso of 280sa was no doubt an incredible exp. had a clearer overview of how an arty battalion operates. glad to have learnt much from this trip.

it's amazing to see how proficient reservice personnel are despite the comparatively little amt of training before the ex. the teamwork & camaraderie displayed during FATEP was commendable. everyone played their part to achieve a common goal. guess national service does wonders at times.

not forgetting the company of friends from 23sa esp the hardworking fdo kengsiong, the master-of-kaobei 'a' gpo rongteng, the seemingly perverted 'b' gpo binglun & the cute 'c' gpo zixiang. going thru the same routine everyday, time would be hard to pass without them around.

now waiting to see where will the pso for the upcoming 23sa FATEP come from. if opportunity arises, guess i'll volunteer to go. a trip to india is better than a treat of never-ending arrows in office. i'm starting to question myself if i'm doing abit too much for AI since my office hours are supposed to end at 1730 (it only happens once in a while). what do i get in the end for contributing so much? - more merciless arrows!!

i hate myself. i hate myself for crying. it seems to be an act of weakness. considering the stories i heard about her, i told myself i shall not shed a single tear when she dies. i never had any fond memories of her. yet my emotions got the better of me knowing she may not live till the day i return from crescendo. guess she had suffered enough for the past few years- the loneliness, her degenerating health etc. and i choose not to see her even for the very last time, wanting to keep my impression of her to the best it can be. even if i visit her, her failing senses will not recognise my presence. i'm worrying for my dad. it's her mum i'm talking about. i hope he can take it though it's much easier said than done.

the selfish side of me had always hope i'll be the first to leave this world, for i doubt i can handle the passing of any close ones..

What was natural and right? Who really knew? The world was never so simple that one person could have all the answers. He had fought this for so long. What would it be like to stop fighting? To accept what he was.

The Novice

at times thinking too much ends up getting no where. and at the end of the day still got to acknowledge that it's a complicated world we are in. is the norm always right? does being unacceptably different wrong? spectrum of subjective perspectives inevitably make it impossible to handle these questions. accept it. accept yourself.

went thru a meaningful coaching course these few days. had some new insights and will like to take this opportunity to share one i find significant.

realised i have weakness in self-management. i see the flaws in others but was blind to mine. hence i need to identify them & work towards improvement by adopting a positive attitude to correct them. in hope to benefit myself as well as those around me.

if we try to listen, we find it extraordinary difficult, because we are always projecting out opinions and ideas, our prejudices, our background.. when they dominate, we hardly listen at all to what is being said.. one listens and therefore learns, only in a state of attention, a state of silence, in which this whole background is in abeyance.. real communication can only take place where there is 'silence'.

krishnamurti

finally. another wk has ended. but it's a meaningful one as i've learnt & gained much by opening up during moi & le nova course. hopefully i'll b able to apply what i've learnt on a daily basis and improve myself as time goes by.

had a gathering organised by my superiors for gunnery instructors yesterday after work. guess it's to welcome the new instructors. major loy treated pizza while cpt francis treated us to pub. didnt expect things to turn out so fun. many thanks..

48th faocc comms ball was held at 1 deg 15 ytd. had an enjoyable evening though grand dinners like this arent really my kind of thing. magician & dancers spiced up the event. many thanks to the committee for all the planning & efforts. happy occasion it may be. but i believe it's the last time all 48th faocc gunners can gather tgt. so take care everyone. & thanks for making this course a meaningful one. thinking back cadet days were actually the best.

the day ended with a gathering of my clique. in which 终极密码 was the highlight...