it's been a while..

hmm.. a bunch of good friends came up today.. but didnt know wat to do at my house leh.. didnt play naruto.. sian.. (recalling the past when my friends can juz come up mainly to play naruto.. play until so siao somemore.. got yeppy sf zh bran jl etc.. ahh.. so nostalgic sia.. juz wondering if there's a next version to the game.. will b fun if there's one, with all the akatsuki members selectable..)
anyway must apologise to the three of them.. think ask them come up only waste their time.. but thinking of it.. the lovebirds can entertain themselves one wat.. haha.. go anywhere also can play until so happy.. hmm.. maybe i worried too much.. ehh.. then left mi & xiaojie.. so the two of us talk loh.. dats why become so close.. ya..

ahh.. will b skipping work tmr to play mahjong.. (so now very curious to know who's the unlucky soul to b kicked up to cafe tmr..) think my dad abit buehsong when i told him dat.. maybe earn money to him more important.. but dont care.. worked thru cny so now wanna enjoy.. hope lady luck shines on mi..
ai.. so dat means no pay for tmr.. sad sia.. been spending too much money le la.. donno how i spend also.. money in the bank like the same no matter how much i earn.. kao...

(money may not buy happiness but it sure makes misery much easier to live with..)

wah.. today rocks.. enjoyed my day at boxbistro.. let's see.. early in the morning kana pinched on the cheeks by alice.. i tio stunned.. donno why she did dat.. haha then she said i cute.. so happy sia.. so rare to hear someone say dat.. hope she meant it.. but think maybe she cny mood too excited then say for fun one lah..

ehh.. quite slack today.. abit over-staff in the afternn.. donno wat to do so went around find pple talk cock.. then saw chef alex in the kitchen.. approached him.. nv tried talking to him before, always see him only smile.. wah surprising leh, can talk so much with him like old friends lidat.. too bad he leaving bistro soon.. sian.. think someday ask him out to swim.. should b fun sia.. looking forward to dat day ba..

kao.. si angmoh sent me up to cafe again at 7 plus.. the fulltimers coping well wat, i go up only help make a few milkshakes.. donno ask me go up for wat.. think should have smacked him in the face and ask if he's trying to b funny.. hmm.. maybe he saw me eat nuggets.. then wanna banish me from bistro before i start feeding myself with all the other food.. cannot blame me wat.. my stomach empty hands itchy.. so happen to place a piece of chicken biscuit into my mouth lor.. (wah eat one of ur nuggets will die huh si angmoh.. the most i pay for it la.. juz tell me how much u want.. seventh month burn for u.. promise..)

but the highlight was having reunion dinner with the chefs.. eat steamboat in the kitchen.. with alex kelvin patrick jimmy.. they so good ask me eat with them.. enjoyed the meal.. many thanks to the chefs...

ahh.. had a lot of fun today sia.. went swimming with pl this morning.. didnt really swim actually.. juz float around the pool and talk cock.. talk until tio sunburn.. sian..
then danny called all of a sudden, the moment i stepped into the changing room.. donno is he lucky or i unlucky to pick up his call.. reminded me to go cafeconnect tmr.. sian.. i wanna stay at bistro.. wouldnt get hungry there.. can talk to friends somemore.. but danny also very cham, almost every wk train new parttimers.. dont care la.. he not wking tmr anyway.. juz stick my butt at boxbistro tmr.. or hang on to micheal if charles attempt to kick me up again.. dat si angmoh.. curse him to fall & roll like a ball.. after dat i go kick.. then can play soccer with jl at bistro.. (jiale bro.. so paiseh.. u so good sometimes ask me go play soccer.. but i dont go one.. coz i too noob le la.. really if u see the way i kick the ball think u will laugh till u cry.. give me ten yrs to train also wont make a diff.. super untalented..)

ehh.. after swim was time for sushi.. thought after swim can eat alot one.. pl still eat so little.. anyway the sushi not bad sia.. someday gonna bring my mum there.. and ask her to treat me.. donno how many yrs she never cook le.. 家常便饭 is somethg so rare for me.. worse still.. reunion dinner not cooking also.. and thought she will make an exception today.. asked her cook greenbean soup she said ok.. early in the morning saw the greenbeans on the table.. so happy.. go out come back in the evening still on the table.. nothing to say liao.. dont even bother to ask when she will cook the greenbean soup.. kao..

hmm.. after sushi went chinatown sq central.. saw a figurine i wanna buy.. but 129 bucks leh.. buy le later heartpain.. then can cry whole nite.. then after dat will continue with my emoshit again.. haha..
after dat walk walk at chinatown.. sian.. today was the first time i took a walk there after so many yrs.. and i suppose it's the last time too.. got nothing want wat.. donno why so many pple like to go squeeze there.. squeeze until so happy somemore.. siao..

then went back to tamp.. walked aimlessly up century sq.. donno wat happened but i blurted out the words 'take neoprint'.. haha think i siao liao.. but we went ahead since we had time.. liked the queen of hearts sia.. (dat was the best shot.. the others i look abit kuku leh.. esp the first two.. sian..)

really enjoyed the day.. many thx to my good friend pl...

cherish the friends that you have coz you never know
when they will be the only ones there for you

valentines day.. sucks when u haven’t got someone to share it with.. but guess it's ok.. coz every year's the same..

think it will take me a lifetime.. to hunt & search for that glimpse of hope.. for that one special soul.. for that love of my life.. (expected lah.. see my face cannot make it already.. maybe lehlong also nobody wants.. sad sia.. think of it feel like crying..)

so tonight i put on the sad songs, plug in the headphones, & crank up the volume, just so i can drain the night away…

wah.. dat stupid si angmoh.. kicked me up to cafeconnect on sat.. now i know how fun working at boxbistro is.. all my friends wking there.. miss them a lot leh.. also miss aunty chef..
alot to learn at cafeconnect sia.. it’s abit too much for my memory le lah.. wat focaccia, panini, baguette, croissant.. why cant they juz call them 'bread'? complicate things for nothing.. make life so difficult for an idiot like me.. kao..
wah the cakes at cafe worse than bistro’s.. ate the blueberry one on sunday.. doesnt taste like berry.. doesnt smell like berry.. sour sour one.. think the cake on the verge of rotting le lah.. wth..

went back today to get my pineapple tarts.. peiling came along.. so nice for her to do dat or else will b damn sian.. also went back to eat.. but doubt there’ll b a second time.. so paiseh.. micheal only charge me $1.20 for the setlunch worth 5 bucks.. danny gave the waffle with ice-cream free.. they too good le lah.. but worst of all was the staff there la.. pl only my good friend.. why must they think so much? Sian..

sometimes when i say 'oh, i'm fine'

i want someone to look me in the eyes & say 'tell the truth'...

ahh.. just came back from supper with 2 bros.. long time since we gathered.. so nice to find pple to talk to..
but still, some things can only be kept to urself, and urself only.. it isnt a matter of whether u wanna say it.. it’s whether u can afford to say it.. coz some words r far too costly to be spoken..
ehh.. we talked alot crapped alot, and think somethg came across bran's mind and he asked me '你知不知道有很多人关心你?' (after zhihao recalled yeppy & shufen asking how i'm doing).. donno why but it struck me.. quite stunned when i heard dat sia.. maybe i've neglected somethg all these while...

(think somehow gave u gals the impression dat i sian sian one.. maybe ba.. u ask me i also donno wat to say.. but really appreciate ur concern.. & sorry for the worries..)

yay!! finally.. last filler episode for naruto.. he sets out training, everyone misses him.. juz wondering if anyone will miss me if i leave this homeland, if anyone will cry for me if i leave this world.. i’m wondering.. and yearning to know.. but i’ll work hard to be ur friend.. worth shedding tears for.. i'll try my best to earn.. that precious tear drop of urs.. i promise i will...

ehh.. once again nothing much happened today sia.. only went bugis with a friend.. supposed to go there buy somethg but think the highlight was eating instead.. just 3 hrs and had my stomach filled with long john, beef noodles, ice-cream, honeydew sago.. so sorry pl, go all the way there juz to see me eat.. i'll try to eat lesser nxt time haha.. & siao liao.. aunty chef gonna say i'm rounder again.. sian.. it scares me when pple start saying dat.. really scary..

ahh.. still pondering on wat i'm aiming for in life.. perhaps u r right pl, no need to think so much.. think so much also no use.. 'never take life seriously. nobody gets out alive anyways'.. quite true actually.. but if dat's the case, might as well go die now.. if only i had dat courage to end my life...

hmm.. another day ending soon.. my job as a restocker ended yesterday so today slacked.. the job quite rubbish sia, nothing much u can learn.. but the pay wasnt dat bad.. (kao!! my friend juz work an hr on one of the days and got the usual 50 bucks.. feel like wacking him sia!! no la juz joking.. i very good to my friends one leh..)

ehh.. didnt do much today.. went swimming & realised how weak my stamina is.. getting from bad to worse from time to time.. didnt bother to go running and train up.. (coz running alone is really really damn sian, then after running still have to crawl all the way home..) think go ns gonna suffer big time.. dont care la, go ns & cry then..

sian.. cny coming sia.. and my parents r getting a little bit overexcited i suppose.. donno buy so much decorations for wat.. 2 hrs ago they started hanging stuff all over the place.. 4 pineapples now hanging in the living rm.. see already wanna laugh.. donno wat happened in the recent yrs coz they dont really do this in the past.. maybe when pple age the way they think changes.. but looking at the way my parents change, it's just weird.. but wat to do? maybe i'll start praying.. pray they dont start hanging stuff during the seventh month sia..

hmm.. quite alot happened recently.. thought i could just pin them down and stop thinking sia.. on second thoughts i should juz keep them to myself.. safer ba.. get the wrong person to read then it's gonna be damn troublesome..

sometimes i really wonder wat i am living for.. living to see the future? neh mine doesnt look bright.. my future is merely an enigma.. living for the present? doubt so.. life's getting boring when friends are getting busy with work.. havent seen many of them since the exams ended.. or living for the past? haha having severe memory loss, can hardly recall any fond memories worth living for.. donno when the disease started.. no joking sia.. have a witness leh, right jiale?

ahh.. finally can take a break before going back boxbistro this wkend.. looking forward to it.. really enjoyed wking last wkend.. so much happened.. wrote the highlights on peiling's friendster testi so now lazy to write again..

yeh.. tmr wed le.. hope can wake up on time to watch getbackers.. coz may just slp thru the whole of tmr.. so tired sia...